The 5 Funniest Stories We’ve Heard About Carpet Cleaners

It’s always a good time for a laugh, so we decided to share one here on our blog today.

We have scoured the internet for ten of the most humorous tales involving carpet cleaning and compiled them below for your (and our) enjoyment.

Have fun!

Caught in a Lie

One Friday, I got assigned to a job that turned out even more beautiful than I could have predicted. The carpets looked terrible to start with, so I was not expecting as wonderful of results as I came out with. In any case, the customer and I were both very pleased, especially since she was having a party the next day. She tipped my assistant and me both $20 because she was so happy with the job we did.

As soon as it started raining the next day, the lady called the office. She said her carpets were still wet and she was about to have her party. I jumped into action, obviously, because we didn’t want her carpets to mold or mildew.

There she was on the phone, badmouthing the crew and saying we rushed the job. She also told me (mistaking me for my supervisor) that she wanted us to come back on Monday. I told her that we would have to come out right away if the carpets were wet and she refused. I told her that after 36 hours we could not be responsible for mildew or mold if she didn’t let us in.

Frustrated, I reached out to her husband who called her and told her she needed to let us in. As soon as I walked in, she met me with soaked pants and claimed it came from kneeling down on the floor. I checked the carpet with the hydrometer, though, and they were bone dry.

At that, she directed us to a spot on the floor that looked as if she had taken a glass of water and dumped it on the carpet. Long story short- she was trying to ensure we came back out to clean carpets again on Monday after the party because she knew her guests would track in mud from the rain.

Dog Day at Work

I had a tech who seemed to always have a problem with customers dogs. They just hated him without any explanation as to why and would bite his heels and ankles and even attempt to pull the wand out of his hand as he worked. Even well-trained dogs who usually behaved acted at their worst when he was around.

He greeted a customer at the door one day to begin a new job. He left his sack lunch sitting at the door while he went back to grab some things from the truck.

After checking the carpet, he came out found his lunch sitting in a suspicious puddle. Upon closer inspection, he smelled urine and realized the dog had peed on his food. He explained to the lady that he was pretty sure her dog had marked territory on his sandwich bag and she told him that there was no way- Her dog was too well trained for that!

He threw the sack in the trash and went back to work. After finishing, he was standing outside talking to her and finalizing the transaction when her dog came back, lifted a leg, and peed on his leg- while looking at the woman in the eye.

She apologized immediately and called me to let me know what happened. We both broke out in fits of tears.

That’s Outrageous!

My husband is a carpet cleaner. One time, he went to work at an older lady’s house and she showed him her television and said he should fix it right away. He reminded her that he was there to clean carpets.

She seemed to remember, then, and responded, “Oh, That’s right! How much?” He wrote out the pricing and told her it would cost $180.

After he works a while, she comes back from the kitchen and asks why he’s not working on the television. He reminds her that he is the carpet cleaner. Again, she asks for the price of carpet cleaning and he explains. Satisfied, she returned back to the kitchen.

This played out multiple times throughout the day.

Finally, he was done. She asked him what she owed him. He realized she wasn’t all there and he didn’t want to stiff her, so he told her $80 would be fine.

She got furious:

“Why would I pay you $80? That’s silly! All you did was vacuum and my television still doesn’t work!”

Under Pressure

At my first carpet cleaning job, our pay relied heavily upon upselling a fiber guard. One day, we have this nice couple on the line telling them about what a fantastic job this fiber guard does and sort of pressuring them into purchasing this upsell from us.

After a while, the husband motions toward the book and asks, “Is this high pressure?”

Embarrassed, I said, “No! No pressure at all! You don’t have to take the fiber guard if you don’t want- we just have to tell you about it!”

Then I realized he was talking about the fiber guard process. I didn’t get the upsell.

TMI

One day, I had to work with this guy named John. He was a little rough around the edges. He was one of those that chain smokes and talks too much. I almost choked riding with him as the smoke billowed and the windows stayed closed.

We got there and the lady who met us was very uppity and well-to-do.

She had beautiful, thick, white plush carpet riddled with pet stains. John and I got to work and managed to do a really good job. I wasn’t expecting much out of John, but he really did get most of the carpet clean.

Some of the dog mess didn’t come fully clean, though, and the time had come to break the bad news to the owner.

Frustrated, she asked, “Well, why not? I’ve paid you plenty!”

John explained: “It’s just like when you poop in white underwear. You can wash them a hundred times and they won’t ever be as clean or white as they used to be.”

Needless to say, she didn’t ask any more questions.

If you want to avoid situations like these, your best bet is to reach out to a true professional. We offer carpet dry cleaning Brisbane – Carpestology is standing by waiting to hear from you!